You Stupid Man!

[Forkenspoon]

[ModNote: Continued from Something Wicked This Way Comes.]

You stupid man! It does what it ses on da bottle!

*Forkenspoon shakes a fist angrily at someone leaving the stall. The stall is rickety and looks damp, and at least two thirds of the goblin's wares are on display not on the surface, but hanging from its sack-like shirt. Forkenspoon clanks around the back of the stall and knocks off a small black bottle, which smashes on the hard floor in a shower of black glass, liquid and smoke.*

Urgh! Igh! I bet you thinks thats funny, eh? You think?

*Forkenspoon glares pointedly at someone in the crowd*

[Young Grimwold]

*G.A.P.I.C. (Glared-At Person In Crowd) looks uneasy at being picked upon by Forkenspoon. He had indeed been chortling, but not as loudly as some.*

G.A.P.I.C.: Oh, erm, well, I'd been having a bad day, and they do say that laughter is the best tonic.

G.A.P.I.C.'s Outspoken Friend: Which saves 'im 'aving to buy any of yours!

*This ignites a burst of laughter from the crowd. As it dies off, another townsperson says, more out of ignorance than prejudice:* I thought Lord Fear had all you lot penned up.

[Forkenspoon]

*Forkenspoon slows its clanking and looks thoughtful*

Bad day, you say? Laughter is ONE of the best tonics... if you can get it in liquid form. Which yous cannot. I sell things and stuff... maybe you care to look, see if there is something cheerings in here?

*Gestures to the part of the table covered in dusty old bottles*

[Young Grimwold]

*Despite protests from his outspoken and cynical friend, GAPIC approaches Forkenspoon's stall.*

GAPIC: I wonder, do you have any cleaning potions for sale? I once met a fellow named Baron Eskott, who told me of a brew that, when you drink it, gives you the power to remove stains simply by touching them. Tillic Boom, he called it. "Boom! And the dirt is no more." It would certainly improve my day to have a bottle of that to bring home to my wife.

[Forkenspoon]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

I know what you talking of. I has a many potion, and maybe you'll find something similar? If you look, they do what they say on the label... *Forkenspoon pronounces the last word 'lay-BELL'*

*The goblin sweeps an arm dramatically towards the potions. If you look closely, and brush off the dust, there are three potions with readable labels... but the labels show childish pictures rather than words. The labels are as below:*







You see likey things?

[Young Grimwold]

*Wiping dust from the labels, GAPIC peers at the potions. The hand and scribble one seems to be what he is looking for. It doesn't say 'Tillic Boom' anywhere on it, but perhaps it is the seller's own formulation, in which case it should be considerably cheaper. He holds up the bottle to Forkenspoon to indicate his choice.*

[Forkenspoon]

Aaaaah... just the thing you is lookins for, yes? You pay! Pennies!

*Forkenspoon holds out a wrinkly green hand for some coins. On recieving payment, the goblin then turns to the villager who made the 'penned up' comment and shouts loudly.*

YUZ!

[Young Grimwold]

*PURM ("Penned Up" Remark Maker) frowns at Forkenspoon, but doesn't get the chance to retort yet.

As GAPIC walks away from the stall, he remembers something. It would be pushing Forkenspoon's willingness for customer service, but...*

GAPIC: I'm sorry, I know I've paid, but might I try the potion out before taking it home, and have my money back if it doesn't work? It's just that Baron Eskott told me about a test for a cleaning potion, the Groat Test...

*In his haste to explain, he almost said "Grotesque" there, a 'Freudian slip' which would hardly have gone down well with a goblin.*

GAPIC: He said that if it's a genuine cleaning potion, drinking a little then holding an old dirty groat for five seconds will restore it to a gleaming coin.

[Forkenspoon]

Yiss... I are am happy with your tests. You drinky drinky, and try! Yuz has Forkenspoon's promise that da potion does what it say on da laybell!

*the goblin claps it's hands excitedly*

Yuz will not have a disappointed face!

[Young Grimwold]

*GAPIC nods his gratitude for this courtesy. Several villagers, who apparently know of the Groat Test, draw closer to the stall to watch. GAPIC extracts a grubby groat from his pocket. With the coin resting on his palm, he takes a sip of the potion and begins to count up from 1.*

[OOC: Since GAPIC is only a very minor character, feel free to steer him for what comes next, or PM me with what should happen...]

[Forkenspoon]

*when the man opens his hand, the coin is perfectly clean. However, if the man looks closer, he will see that the grime from the coin is now on his skin.*

Like!

[Young Grimwold]

GAPIC: *Noticing the coin* By Mercury! I- *Noticing his hand* Oh.

*A little flustered, GAPIC drinks some more of the potion, and vigorously rubs his hands together, hoping to banish the grime indirectly.*

[Forkenspoon]

*The stain fades by half and appears to print over onto the man's other hand on contact, but there is no other effect*

See, see!

[Young Grimwold]

GAPIC: I... I was expecting to make the dirt disappear.

*He holds one of his hands out to Forkenspoon. Either to make sure it can see what the potion has done, or in implication of wanting his money back. The gesture could be interpreted either way.*

[Young Grimwold]

[OOC: I'm rounding this off, since it unfortunately appears to have petered out. Forkenspoon seems to be inactive for the moment.]

*GAPIC, realising that he is not going to get his money back, goes off with his friend to buy some soap and some gloves. The onlookers to the Groat Test disperse as well, to peruse the rest of the market stalls.

Forkenspoon's next trade may be some time away...*